Never ask Adam to write your advice column:
My uncle left me a very nice ring. This man in a tall hat who says he’s a wizard suggests that I journey thousands of miles through dangerous terrain, guarding the ring with my life, so that I can drop it into a volcano.
On the other hand, when I put it on, it makes me turn invisible, which is very cool, and gives me a lot of strength.
Should I go on this long and dangerous quest, keep the ring, or sell it on Ebay?
-A concerned Hobbit
Dear Concerned Hobbit,
Go on the quest! At the end you’ll have had an awesome adventure, learned lessons even cooler than invisiblity, and have a blockbuster movie or three that’ll bring in way more than you could get for the ring on ebay. If you do sell it, don’t let that Sauron guy buy it; his checks always bounce.
In Christ’s humor,
P.S. Don’t want more inane letters from Adam? Send me a real one!