I am very confused about my marriage sees my husband raped me when we were dating and I became pregnant. My parents literally forced me to marry him, I wasn’t brave enough to tell my parents what had happened and now after 4 yrs of marriage we constantly fight about everything. I hold a very strong resentment towards him. I feel like I hate him sometimes.
Confused in CA
I would pray and talk with my pastor or another trusted elder in my local church body. It does sound like you shouldn’t have married him, and I suspect such situations are why Catholics permit annulments. I’m not sure about the laws on that, you might want to seek legal advice. If you were forced into the marriage, and really didn’t consent to this, maybe you could go that route. I wouldn’t look at leaving until I’d done some serious soul-searching with God. Start with confessing to Him your own guilt in this, not telling your parents the truth if nothing else, and asking Him what He would have you to do. You might have to fast to get an answer, but He always answers honest seekers.
Don’t forget to pray for your husband, too, God has been known to change people and it’ll help you forgive him. Hard to hold onto pain and anger when you’re praying for the person who caused it. Unforgiveness hurts you more than it does anyone else. Even if God does release you, that could carry over into a new relationship and continue hurting you.
Love In Christ,