Dear Andrea,

I’m a young professional man in my 20s, I grew up around end times theorists. It helped a little that my dad tended to give kooky conspiracy theories a lot of creedance. JFK was killed in a conspiracy, UFOs were real with alien abductions.

Now, I’ve gotten on my own and the long ago (false) prediction of impending doom and the end times are behind me.

My wife received some very nice birthday presents, including a DVD called, “The End Times” big red lettering by Michael Boldea with a note, “Please watch this. Love, Mom.”

Well, Andrea, do I do it? Here’s the problem, I know that it’s going to be a bunch of things that will at best give me an upset stomach. At worse, it’ll make my wife scared.

The simple fact of the matter is that if now is the end times (and what generation of Christian has thought it wasn’t), there’s not a whole lot I can do about it. All I want is to live my life as a Christian, doing the very best I can to follow God and making sure that I do what’s right, and trying to help make things better.

I want to leave this crud behind, but on the other hand should be respectful to my mother and watch this load of garbage?

Ex-End Times Guy

Dear Ex-End Times Guy,

I understand your dilemma, we have a similar unfortunate situation in our extended family.

First, who is this guy? If you don’t know, find out. Google his name, try to find websites pro and against. If you find out information that suggests it would be spiritually dangerous to allow the images on his video into your mind, then simply send your mother a polite letter explaining what you found and your concerns. Let her know how much she means to you and how much you appreciate everything she’s done for you, but also it would not be disrespectful to politely explain your position.

Honoring your mother, at your age, means giving her advice a fair hearing, speaking respectfully, and providing for any needs that arise as they age (the bible’s version of social security!) It doesn’t mean viewing material you consider dangerous, no matter how much you love and respect her. I understand how you feel, I’d feel the same way, but look at it this way: if you had a history of porn addiction, and your mother sent you a video with such a note that you knew would open the door to lust, would you watch it? Would you be dishonoring her for not?

If you have reason to believe watching the video would harm you or your wife spiritually, why does it matter whether the issue is porn or a spiritually unhealthy obsession with end times prophecy?

At the same time, why does your mother want you to watch this? Could it be she merely values your opinion and wants to know what you think of it? Are you spiritually mature enough to discern whether the video is truth or lies? If you have reason to believe you can handle it, you could also use this as a tool to talk to your mother about your concerns on this issue regardless of her intent.

However, as a husband, part of your role is to protect your wife. Previewing the video would not be an undo measure. However, as she is not a child, your ability to protect her in this only goes as far as she is willing to allow you to. I would explain to your wife your concerns, and your desire to protect her from exposure to materials that could harm her, and ask her if she will allow you to preview the video.

Now, in the strictest interpretation of the scriptures, you don’t have to ask. But the scriptures also say you should love your wife as you love yourself. So ask yourself this: if I was my wife, how would I want him to handle this? Would I want him to preview without consulting me, or would I want him to ask? Now, if you explain your position, biblically her correct response is to allow you to protect her in this way. But giving her an option in the matter sends the message, “I love you and want to protect you, but respect you as a mature adult.” The alternative, to most women, will send the message, “I think you’re a child who needs protected.” Which message would you prefer to send?

Lastly, and chief of all, pray and seek the Lord for wisdom. He’ll show you what to do.

Love in Christ,
Andrea Graham
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Light at the Edge of Darkness, An Anthology of Biblical Speculative Fiction
Featuring: FROZEN GENERATION Venture to futures where faith equates to terrorism. Where terrorists smuggle frozen embryos to save lives and resist invasive technologies designed to break their very souls
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