The Lawful Affair: With Your Wife

Dear Andrea,

I read this and wondered what you would tell these people to do.

Adam

Cyber cheats married… to each other
A married couple are divorcing after they chatted each other up on the Internet using fake names.

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First, I would break the reality that an affair with your wife is not grounds to divorce her. They both lied, yes. It could even be argued they both committed adultery in their hearts. But they shouldn’t be getting divorced. They should be getting a marriage counselor and dishing out forgiveness. Especially when you’re both equally guilty.

This is a marriage that could easily be saved; they said it themselves, they’re perfect for each other. In fact, before they realized they were in fact already married but thought they were having an affair, they were declaring themselves soul mates. They’ve just become wrapped up in themselves while being unappreciative of and insensitive towards their spouse.

But alas, both are too wrapped up in themselves and their hurts to see how they’ve hurt their spouse. Even realizing they were the spouse being dished on won’t wake them up. But I hope it wakes up those interested in a divorcee who are listening with a sympathetic ear as they dish on their spouse. In a no fault divorce, both parties are usually guilty. And you never hear about all the things they did.

The greatest tragedy of this is they actually fell in love with each other all over again, and actually talked about the problems in their marriage, and were too busy being disgusted by each other’s mutual dishonesty to learn a dang thing. They could possibly even skip the trip to marriage counselor and save the marriage simply by talking to each other the same way they did when they didn’t realize it was each other. Kindness, forgiveness, and continuing their love affair is exactly what they need to not only make it, but to thrive.

In Christ’s Reconciliation,

Andrea Graham

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